Helloooooo from the other sideeeeeeee… (sings)
Did you get my Adele reference?
Clever little bastard aren’t I?
Now I know my blog was on hiatus for a bit, but that is actually for a remarkable reason. When I originally started this blog, I was unemployed (recently fired from previous job) and struggling to battle my depression amidst budding issues financially and dealing with a hard breakup.
Here I am, months later blessed with a position in childcare that leaves me speechless at the thought that God had been listening the entire time.
Which brings me back to the blog.
Now I know that in order to get your blog up and running, the most important step would be to maintain consistency in posting to keep your readers entertained.
Did I mention I had a horrible habit of beginning projects but never finishing?
I figured it was time to get this bad boy up and running again while I still had the emotional stability to do so.
Brownie point for me.
Since I’ve been MIA for a little bit, I’d like to kick off my return by discussing something that brings discomfort to an outsider.
Ah yes, that B word that admittedly produces an uncomfortable energy in any conversation.
How do you establish boundaries with the people in your life?
Just do it.
Aye catch that reference? I should be endorsed by Nike. Aow aow aow.
Personally I’ve rarely encountered a situation that presented an opportunity to so heavily slap down the bars of boundaries on anyone in my life. My life is an open book.
Reason being for my discussion of this topic in particular is because of my recently severed relationship with my dearest cousin I’ve known for years.
She chose her pig headed, ignorant, jackass of a boyfriend over me in an argument that originated over her but branched off into something much bigger.
Now for those of you that don’t know, especially the newcomers, I am fresh to my twenties. My birthday falls on the 15th of next month-marking my official 21 years of life on this shitty Earth.
With that being said, I opted a long time ago not to do anything in celebration of it just because it’s a bittersweet moment I come across every year .
My excitement lasts a whole hour before I’m snapped back into reality and forced to face my daily list of responsibilities. I’m always thankful nonetheless that I was able to see another year .
I’ve gone off track again haven’t I ?
The problem with my cousin arose when I chose to plan a dinner with my loved ones that’d fall days after my birthday.
I’m a perfectionist so I stress the little things in the public eye.
I’m also an emotionally unstable introvert whom of which hates confrontation in terms of social events.
See the problem?
With that said, I turned to the only person I knew who’d be my right hand.
My weak minded little bitch of a cousin.
With all the uproar of planning, I had errands to run and an outfit to look for. But of course, her boyfriend’s schedule always overshadowed our quality time.
If we were to go out tomorrow at 4 pm to grab a bite to eat, I’d be receiving a text at 3:50 pm cancelling our plans because her boyfriend had a long day at work and needed company at home.
Oh because you know, it’s not like I shifted my schedule around or anything.
This happened constantly, and I held my tongue for the sake of peace.
On Tuesday I’d had enough when she pulled the stunt for the very last time. I calmly told her I’d had enough and I’d be leaving her alone from now on.
Her boyfriend tore into me and went off.
Telling me to cut my lonely act, and to focus on myself. I needed help and needed to grow the fuck up and to stop behaving like a child.
I was absolutely appalled y’all.
Wanna know what she did whilst her boyfriend was swooping into her defense?
Now her boyfriend was someone I grew to admire over the months, despite my opinions on he and his lifestyle. We grew close but again, no boundaries were established and he’d turned into my counselor and older brother than my actual friend. He intentionally gave his input to me on my love life through personal stories my cousin told him about my escapades.
But of course, I was throwing a tantrum so my curses would’ve fallen on deaf ears.
I kept to myself.
Admit it. I definitely deserved a brownie point for that one.
She sat back and allowed someone to disrespect her cousin, all for the sake of keeping some kinda relationship that’d be over in two seconds.
We even discussed it today and I told her that I’d had enough. Unlike her, I’d passed that point in my life whereas I was no longer non confrontational with situations and people. All she had to do was establish boundaries because at the end of it all, we were still cousins.
I’d refuse to be like her and fall into the background while I had five other people fighting my battles. I was no longer that person.
With that being said, I stress the question:
When is it okay to establish boundaries with the people of your life?
When do you draw the line in the sand and say “enough is enough“?
I mean I know you guys know me for being very opinionated on subjects like this but really, I’m curious. Everyone has had their own definitive moment, in their lives that left a lasting imprint on their personas but I…I for once am speechless.
Let me know what you guys think !
I will be posting a part 2 to this, but I’m fascinated to hear inputs before doing so. Lemme know I’m not the only confused person on Earth!
But what do I know? I’m only 20.